Can we disagree to agree?

Is this familiar: how can we agree on anything when we are so different in our communication and coping styles? In order for communication to be effective, there must be a grey area when two people communicate in polar opposite ways. As an example, consider Bob and Mary. Bob is very reactionary. He confronts situations as they happen with a need to verbally explore his feelings and work through them with Mary during the height of conflict. Mary is more reserved. She prefers to avoid conflict at all cost, even to the point of bottling up her emotion and never truly expressing the way she felt about the situation that created conflict. Their difference in communication and style of handling conflict only further escalates the situation. So where can they meet in the middle? They must first accept that no one can change someone else. People must desire change and create change for themselves. So, Bob and Mary have to understand that they can only have control of how they react in any situation and that the other person will naturally prefer a style different from their own. Once this is clear, and they agree that they will always disagree with the way the other person prefers to handle conflict, they can choose to make concessions that would lead them toward a mutually respectful and effective middle ground for communication. This will depend upon the work both people are willing to invest and on the needs of the particular situation. For Bob and Mary, they agree to allow a period of time to lapse between the situation that has created conflict and having a discussion about their feelings, however they do commit to having this conversation after they are able to remain calm and more in control of how they will express themselves. Both gave room for the other person’s coping and communication style to be respected, however, they both also are fulfilling the needs that they have in their own method of coping and communication.